1. The Accidental Elbow and a Bold Invitation
A guy was standing in the hotel lobby when he took a small step back—without realizing there was a woman standing right behind him. His elbow accidentally bumped into her chest.
Mortified, he spun around and quickly apologized.
“Oh man, I’m so sorry! If your heart is as soft as what I just touched, I’m sure you’ll forgive me.”
Video: Elbow Slip
The woman smirked and coolly replied,
“Well, if the rest of you is as firm as that elbow… I’m in room 318.”
2. The Surprise Dinner… with a Side of Embarrassment
Last week at lunch, I had way too many beans. Fast forward to that evening—when I got home, my husband greeted me with a grin and said,
“Babe, I’ve got a surprise dinner planned for you!”
He gently blindfolded me and guided me to the dining table. Just as I sat down, the phone rang. Before leaving to take the call, he whispered,
“Don’t peek, okay? Promise!”
Now here’s the thing—those beans were doing a full-on rebellion in my stomach. With him out of the room, I figured it was my golden opportunity. I leaned slightly to one side… and let one rip. Loud. And the smell? Like a skunk got run over by a compost truck.
I quickly grabbed my napkin and started fanning the air like my life depended on it. Feeling bolder, I switched sides and released three more rounds. Each one stinkier than the last—like boiled cabbage and regret.
Video: The Funniest Joke of All Time
I kept my ear tuned to my husband’s voice in the next room and continued to… well, “vent.” It was oddly satisfying. By the time the phone call ended, I was relaxed, refreshed, and feeling pretty pleased with myself.
I gave the air a final few flaps with the napkin, folded it back on my lap, and composed myself with an innocent smile.
My husband returned, apologizing for the delay.
“You didn’t peek, did you?” he asked.
“Of course not!” I said sweetly.
Then he pulled off the blindfold.
Twelve dinner guests stared at me in horror, napkins over their faces—caught in the blast zone of my bean-powered symphony.
