1. A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!

“The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from HIM: “I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!”

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2. A family is driving along on holiday

A family is driving along on holiday when a frog suddenly hops onto the road. The husband, who’s behind the wheel, slams on the brakes just in time.

Feeling compassionate, he gets out, carefully picks up the frog, and carries it to safety on the side of the road.

Grateful, the frog looks up at him and says, “Thank you! As a reward, I’ll grant you one wish.”

The man thinks for a moment and says, “Please make my dog win the next big race.”

The frog nods. “Sure, let me take a look at him.”

The car door opens, and out limps the dog—on three legs, waddling under its own weight, barely managing to move.

The frog stares. Blinks. Takes a deep breath. Then says, “Listen… this might be a bit beyond my skill set. Maybe you’d like to wish for something else?”

The man shrugs. “Alright, then make my wife win the next beauty contest in town.”

The frog nods. “Fair enough. Let’s see her.”

The wife steps out of the car and walks over.

The frog stares again. Blinks harder. Rubs its tiny green temples. Then, with a sigh, it turns back to the man and says,

“Uh… you mind if I take another look at that dog?”

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