1. The Old Man and the Smart-Mouthed Kid
An elderly gentleman climbed onto a packed city bus, standing awkwardly as no one offered him a seat.
With each jolt of the bus, he tried to steady himself using his cane, but at one sharp turn, the cane slipped on the floor, and the poor man toppled over.
As he gathered himself and stood back up, a little boy—probably around seven—looked up from his seat and said innocently,
“Maybe your cane wouldn’t slip if it had one of those rubber tips on the end.”
Without missing a beat, the old man shot back,
“Kid, if your dad had used a rubber tip seven years ago, I wouldn’t be standing right now.”
Video: funny jokes 😂: An old man gets on a crowded bus
2. The Farmer and the Bold Old Lady
A farmer drove into town to get his truck repaired, but the mechanic told him it’d take a while. Since he lived nearby, the farmer decided to walk home.
On the way, he stopped by a hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. Then he visited a friend’s farm and picked up two chickens and a goose.
Now he stood on the sidewalk, staring at his items, trying to figure out how to carry everything at once. As he puzzled it out, a sweet-looking elderly lady walked up and said,
“Excuse me, sir, I’m a bit turned around. Could you tell me how to get to 16 Mockingbird Lane?”
He smiled and replied,
“Well, ma’am, you’re in luck—that’s right near my place. I’d be happy to walk you there, but I’ve got a bit of a juggling act here.”
The woman thought for a second and offered,
“Well, why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry that in one hand, tuck a chicken under each arm, and hold the goose in your other hand?”
“Hey, that’s clever! Thanks!” the farmer said, arranging everything just as she suggested.
Video: 🤣 Dirty Joke! – A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed…
As they strolled together, he said,
“There’s a shortcut up ahead through an alley. We’ll save some time going that way.”
The old woman stopped in her tracks and gave him a suspicious look.
“Now hold on just a minute,” she said. “I’m an old widow all by myself. What’s to stop you from dragging me into that alley, pressing me up against the wall, and doing something improper?”
The farmer stared at her, wide-eyed.
“Lady, I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two live chickens, and a goose. You really think I could manage something like that?!”
She winked and replied,
“Well, why don’t you set the goose down, put the bucket over it, balance the paint on top… and I’ll hold the chickens.”
