1. The Shrewd Granny’s Little Scheme

An elderly lady was making her way down the sidewalk, dragging behind her two hefty plastic bags. One bag had a small rip in it, and every so often, a $20 bill would flutter to the ground.

A police officer noticed and hurried over.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” he said, “but it looks like money is falling from your bag.”

“Oh my! How clumsy of me!” the old lady exclaimed. “Thank you for the heads-up, Officer. I’ll pick them up right away.”

The officer, feeling a bit curious, asked, “Hold on a second… where did all this cash come from? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

The lady laughed lightly. “Oh, no, nothing illegal! You see, my backyard borders a golf course. Some golfers can’t help themselves and, well, they take care of business through a knothole in my fence, right into my flowerbeds. It used to drive me nuts—my poor flowers!”

She leaned closer, whispering as if sharing a secret. “Then one day I had an idea. I hid behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Whenever a golfer goes through the knothole, I confront him: ‘Alright, buddy, twenty bucks or the clippers come out!’”

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The cop roared with laughter. “That’s… genius! I have to admire your ingenuity. But,” he gestured toward the second bag, “what’s in that one?”

The old lady smirked. “Well… not everyone coughs up the twenty.”

2. The Midnight Panic 😏🌙

A couple was fast asleep when suddenly, a loud crash rang through the house.

The woman bolted upright, panicked, and shook her partner.
“Quick! It’s the intruder! You have to get out right now!” she whispered urgently.

Without a second thought, the man leaped from the bed, dove straight through the window, landed in the bushes, and sprinted down the street in just his boxers.

A few houses away, he stopped, panting and bewildered.
“Wait a second…” he thought. “I’m her husband!”

Scratched up and furious, he stormed back into the house.
“Hey! I’m your husband!” he shouted.

The woman glared at him, utterly unimpressed.
“Then tell me,” she said coolly, “why were you running?” 😏

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