Joke: The Teachings of Father Patrick

It was Saturday evening, and time for Father Patrick’s weekly bath. Young Sister Mary had been assigned to help, following the instructions passed down by the elder nun, Sister Agnes.

She was told to heat the water, prepare the towels, avoid looking at Father Patrick’s body if she could, obey his requests without question, and keep praying throughout the task.

The following morning, Sister Agnes asked the young nun how everything had gone.

Sister Mary sighed with a dreamy smile. “Oh Sister… I’ve been spiritually awakened.”

“Spiritually awakened? What do you mean by that, child?” Sister Agnes asked, leaning in curiously.

“Well,” said Sister Mary, “as Father Patrick soaked in the bath, he asked me to help clean him. While I was scrubbing him gently, he took my hand and guided it between his legs. He told me that was where the Lord had placed the Key to Heaven.”

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“Oh really?” the older nun said, raising an eyebrow.

“He explained that if the Key to Heaven fit into my lock, the gates of Heaven would open, and I’d be blessed with eternal joy. Then… he placed his Key into my lock,” Sister Mary added with a blush.

“Go on,” said Sister Agnes, now wide-eyed.

“At first, it was uncomfortable,” said Mary. “But Father said the path to salvation often came with trials. Then, oh Sister… the joy! My heart was bursting with the divine spirit.”

“That sneaky old sinner,” muttered Sister Agnes. “All these years he told me it was the Trumpet of the Archangel, and I’ve been blowing it since 1985!”

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