There was once a cheerful old lady in her seventies who had been living alone for years. Her friends kept telling her, “You’re still full of life! You should find yourself a good man.”

After thinking it over, she decided they were right. Why spend her golden years alone when she could have someone to share her days with? So one afternoon, she sat at her kitchen table, put on her reading glasses, and carefully wrote out a newspaper ad that said:

“Husband wanted. Must not hit me, must not walk all over me, and must still be good in b.*.d.”

She smiled proudly, folded the note, and mailed it out.

Within days, letters poured in. There were bachelors, widowers, even a few overly confident young men who thought she’d enjoy some “adventure.” She laughed at most of them, shook her head at others, and sighed when none seemed quite right.

After two weeks of disappointments and a growing pile of rejection letters, she began to think maybe love had retired long before she did.

Then, one quiet morning, just as she was pouring herself a cup of tea, the doorbell rang.

“Who could that be?” she muttered, walking slowly to the door.

When she opened it, she froze. Sitting on her porch was a man in a wheelchair. He had no arms, no legs, but the widest smile she had ever seen.

“Can I help you?” she asked gently, unsure what to make of the situation.

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The man grinned and said, “Actually, you can. I’m here to apply for the husband position.”

The old woman blinked, then burst out laughing. “You must be joking!”

But the man didn’t flinch. “Think about it,” he said with a wink. “I have no arms, so I can’t hit you. I have no legs, so I can’t walk all over you.”

She paused, impressed by his quick wit. Then her eyes narrowed slightly, and she leaned in closer.

“All right, mister,” she said, testing him. “You seem nice enough. But tell me one thing—are you still good in b.*.d?”

The man leaned back in his wheelchair, a slow, mischievous smile spreading across his face.

“Well,” he said smoothly, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

The woman’s teacup nearly slipped from her hand as she burst into laughter.

It wasn’t exactly the love story she’d imagined—but she had to admit, he made one unforgettable first impression.

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