There once was a young man who had been dreaming for months of landing a date with the stunning blonde who lived just two floors above him. She was the kind of woman who could turn heads without even trying—and against all odds, he finally got her to say yes.

Determined to look his absolute best for their upcoming night in, the guy decided a little pre-date tanning would boost his confidence. But not just any tanning—he wanted an even, flawless glow. So naturally, he climbed up to the roof of his apartment building, stripped down completely (yes, completely), and laid out under the afternoon sun.

Things were going fine… until they weren’t.

The warm sunlight, the soft breeze, and the peaceful rooftop setting lulled him into a nap he didn’t mean to take. When he finally woke up, he realized with horror that a very important part of his anatomy—his “gentleman’s gear,” so to speak—had turned into a bright red, throbbing disaster.

Panic set in, but canceling the date wasn’t an option. So he slathered the burn in soothing lotion, carefully wrapped the area in gauze like a battlefield medic, and soldiered on.

That evening, the lovely blonde arrived at his apartment. He had prepared a homemade dinner—pasta, wine, candles—the whole romantic setup. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, and after dinner they cozied up on the couch to watch a movie.

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But about halfway through the film, things took a turn. The gauze wasn’t holding up, the lotion had worn off, and the poor guy’s sunburned pride was on fire again.

He excused himself, saying he needed to get something from the kitchen. Desperate for relief, he opened the fridge, grabbed a tall glass, filled it with cold milk, and—well, he dipped the affected area in.

The sensation? Instant heaven.

But as he stood there in blissful relief, eyes closed, milk glass occupied in a very unconventional way—the blonde, curious as to what was taking him so long, wandered into the kitchen.

Her eyes widened at the bizarre sight.

Without missing a beat, she exclaimed:

“So that’s how you guys load those things!”

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