The Navy had a bit of a dilemma—too many high-ranking officers were hanging around, waiting for their full retirement. So, to speed things up, the brass came up with a tempting deal:

💰 “We’ll pay you $1,000 for every inch between any two points on your body, measured in a straight line!” 💰

Pretty straightforward, right? Or so they thought.

The first officer steps up proudly and says,
“Measure from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.”

They do the math—6 feet exactly. That’s 72 inches. Boom! $72,000.

Not bad.

Then another officer gets an idea. “Make it from the tips of my fingers—arms stretched out—to my toes!”

That one measured 8 feet, or 96 inches. He strolls off with $96,000, grinning like he just won the lottery.

Then comes an old, grizzled Navy Chief. He limps forward, smirking like he’s seen it all.
He says, “Measure from the tip of my weenie… to my testicles.”

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The pension officer nearly spits out his coffee.
“Chief, are you absolutely sure that’s where you want the measurement to start and end?”

The Chief nods without missing a beat.
“Yup. That’s the one.”

They bring in a medical officer to make sure it’s all official. The Chief drops his pants. The doc crouches down, tape measure ready… then suddenly freezes.

“Uh, Chief,” the doctor asks, puzzled. “Where are your testicles?”

The old sailor grins, eyes twinkling.

“Vietnam.”

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