In a small town church, there was an organist named Susan. She was very lively, cheerful, and full of energy when she played. The only problem? Her enthusiastic style of performing caused a bit too much distraction for some of the congregation—especially the men, who suddenly seemed far more attentive to the music than to the sermon.

The church ladies, known for their strict sense of propriety, grew concerned. After a private meeting, they decided that something had to be done—either Susan adjusted her ways, or they might need to find another organist.

One of the ladies, trying to be helpful, quietly approached Susan. She told her about an old country remedy: “If you mash up some green persimmons and apply them carefully, it should help tighten things up. But whatever you do, don’t eat them. They’re so sour they’ll make your mouth pucker up and you won’t be able to speak clearly for a while.”

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Wanting to keep her job, Susan reluctantly agreed to give the strange advice a try.

That Sunday, when the service began, the minister walked to the pulpit, looked at the congregation, and attempted to speak. But instead of his usual clear voice, he lisped and mumbled:

“Due to thircumsthanthes beyond my contwol… we won’t hab a thermon thoday.”

The congregation sat in stunned silence—then erupted in laughter.

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