1: The Pastor’s Growing Blessings

One Sunday morning the pastor stepped up to the pulpit with a hopeful grin. His wife was expecting, and he decided it was the right time to bring something up.

“Brothers and sisters,” he began, “our family is about to welcome a new little one. I’d be grateful if you would consider giving me a slight increase in salary.”

After some back-and-forth, the congregation agreed to a unique arrangement: whenever the pastor’s family grew, so would his paycheck. At first, it sounded perfectly reasonable.

But by the time baby number six arrived, the church treasurer nearly fainted while reviewing the books. The members called a special meeting to debate the ever-expanding salary.

Voices grew loud, fingers pointed, and tempers flared. For an hour the pastor sat quietly, listening. Then he raised his hand for silence and said with calm conviction,

“Children are blessings from the Lord, and we will gladly accept as many as He sends.”

The room fell silent. His words lingered in the air.

Finally, a frail elderly woman in the back slowly pushed herself to her feet, leaning on her cane. She cleared her throat and said in a shaky voice,

“Rain is also a blessing from the Lord… but when it pours too much, we put on our rubbers.”

For a heartbeat no one spoke. Then the entire congregation burst out laughing and, almost on cue, called out,

“Amen!”

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2: Three Grandmas and the Bold Grandpa

Three elderly ladies sat on a bench outside their nursing home, gossiping and people-watching, when an old gentleman shuffled past.

One of the grandmas leaned forward and called out,

“Sir! We bet we can tell you exactly how old you are!”

The old fellow chuckled. “Impossible. You’ll never guess my age.”

“Oh, we can,” another grandma said with a mischievous sparkle. “Just drop your pants and underwear, and we’ll tell you right down to the year.”

His eyes widened. “You must be joking!”

But curiosity got the better of him. Determined to prove them wrong, he looked around, sighed, and lowered his trousers.

“Alright,” the first grandma instructed, “give us a little spin.”

“And now hop up and down!” added the second, clapping as though it were a talent show.

Blushing but stubborn, the man twirled and bounced, his pants pooled at his ankles.

The three grandmas squinted, nodded at each other, and declared in perfect unison,

“You’re eighty-seven years old!”

The man froze. “Good heavens! How did you figure that out?”

The grandmas roared with laughter, high-fived one another, and one finally managed to say through her giggles,

“Simple, dear—we were at your birthday party yesterday!”

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