1. The Clever Old Lady at the Store

One quiet afternoon, a sweet elderly woman wandered into the grocery store and picked up four cans of cat food.

At the checkout, the cashier frowned and shook her head.
“Sorry, ma’am. Store policy says we can’t sell you cat food unless you can prove you actually have a cat. Too many old folks have been buying it to eat themselves.”

The lady didn’t argue. She went home, grabbed her startled cat, and brought it right back to the store. The cashier gave in and let her purchase the food.

The next day, she returned—this time with a bag of dog food. Same cashier. Same rule.
“No proof, no dog food.”
So the lady left again and came back with her big Labrador. Once again, the cashier sighed and rang her up.

On the third day, the old woman came in carrying a small cardboard box with a hole cut into the lid. She slid it across the counter.
“Go ahead—stick your finger in,” she said sweetly.

The cashier recoiled. “What if it’s a snake?”
“It’s not going to bite you,” the lady assured her.

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Nervously, the cashier poked her finger into the hole… then yanked it back instantly, making a face of pure disgust.
“Eww! That smells like crap!”

The old lady smiled.
“It is. Now… I’ll take three rolls of toilet paper.” 😏

2. The Bull Telegram

Two women—a redhead and a blonde—ran a small ranch together. One day, tragedy struck: their prized bull died. Desperate to replace him, they scraped together $500.

The redhead said, “I’ll head into town and see if I can find us another bull. If I do, I’ll send you a telegram so you can drive in with the truck and trailer.”

At the market, she found exactly what they needed: a healthy young bull priced at $499. That left her with just a single dollar.

She hurried to the telegraph office but discovered the fee was $1 per word. After thinking for a moment, she wrote down one word: Comfortable.

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The operator looked puzzled. “One word? How will your friend know what you mean?”

The redhead smirked. “She’s a blonde. She’ll read it slow… Come-for-ta-bull.” 😏