1. The Restaurant Mix-Up

A man strolled into a small, charming café and settled into a booth. It didn’t take long for him to notice that every server looked as if they’d just stepped off a fashion shoot.

One waitress, in particular, grabbed his attention. She was stunning—poised and graceful—her short skirt showing off legs that seemed to go on forever. When she approached his table, she flashed a brilliant smile.

“Good evening, sir. Have you decided what you’d like?” she asked in the sweetest voice.

He glanced at the menu briefly, then let his eyes linger on her a little longer than he should have. With a playful grin he said,

“I’ll have a quickie.”

Her smile disappeared. Shock and color rushed to her cheeks. Without a word, she turned sharply and marched away.

After a few moments she came back, expression cool and voice clipped. “Would you like to order now, sir?”

The man, undeterred, gave her another once-over and repeated confidently,

“Yes, a quickie, please.”

Before he could blink, she delivered a stinging slap—smack!—and stormed off again.

Rubbing his cheek in confusion, the man heard a whisper from the next table:

“Friend… I think you mean quiche.”

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2. The Aspiring Lion Tamer

Two friends who were both out of work were passing the time in conversation.

“I’ve decided I’m going to be a lion tamer,” one announced proudly.

His buddy raised an eyebrow. “You? You don’t know the first thing about taming lions.”

“I’ll learn,” the first replied. “Tell me this: if a lion charges at you, roaring, what do you do?”

“You hold up one of those big chairs they carry and poke it toward his face until he backs off.”

“And if the lion grabs the chair and hurls it aside?”

“Then you crack the whip and keep snapping it until he retreats.”

“And if the lion bites the whip clean in half?”

“You pull out your pistol and fire.”

“And suppose the pistol jams?”

“Then you grab whatever’s lying on the ground, toss it in his eyes, and make a run for it.”

“One more thing,” the hopeful tamer asked, “what if there’s nothing on the ground to throw?”

His friend grinned. “Don’t lose sleep over that. By the time your gun’s jammed, trust me—there will definitely be something on the ground.”

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