1. The Clever Train Ruse

Three Irishmen and three Scots were heading to a big conference by train.

At the ticket counter, the Irishmen each bought their own ticket. To their surprise, the Scots purchased only one.

“How can three of you travel on just a single ticket?” one Irishman asked.

“Just watch,” one of the Scots replied with a grin.

Once aboard, the Irishmen sat in their assigned seats while all three Scots squeezed into a single restroom and locked the door.

After the train pulled away, the conductor began collecting tickets. He tapped on the restroom door and called, “Ticket, please.”

A hand appeared through a narrow gap holding the lone ticket. The conductor took it and moved on. The Irishmen were impressed by the crafty trick.

On the way home after the conference, the Irishmen decided to try the same stunt to save a few coins. They bought only one ticket. To their surprise, the Scots bought none.

“How are you going to ride without any ticket at all?” one Irishman asked, puzzled.

“Wait and see,” a Scot answered with a wink.

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As soon as they boarded, the three Irishmen crowded into one restroom while the Scots ducked into another nearby.

Moments after the train departed, one Scot quietly stepped out, strolled over to the Irishmen’s door, knocked, and said, “Ticket, please.”

2. The Genie and the Three Wishes

One sunny day, an Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scotsman were strolling along the beach when they spotted an old lantern. They gave it a rub and—whoosh—a Genie appeared.

“You each get one wish,” the Genie announced.

The Scotsman went first. “I come from a long line of fishermen. I want the oceans brimming with fish forever.”

The Genie blinked and instantly the seas were alive with endless fish.

Next, the Englishman declared, “I want a mighty wall built around England to keep everyone out—forever.”

Another blink, and an enormous wall rose up, 150 feet tall and 50 feet thick, completely enclosing England.

The Irishman looked intrigued. “Tell me more about this wall.”

“It’s massive,” the Genie explained, “nothing can get in or out.”

The Irishman smiled and said, “Alright then—fill it with water.”

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