The Bus Dilemma: A Step Too Far

A woman approached the downtown bus stop, ready to jump on for her morning commute. But as she tried to step up onto the bus, she realized with a jolt that her pencil skirt, once a perfect fit, had somehow shrunk in the wash — or perhaps, it was just her growing confidence causing her to misjudge the size of the step. Whatever the reason, her leg was stuck at the first step, and her frustration was building.

She gave the bus driver a polite smile, as if that might ease the situation, and subtly reached behind her to unzip the skirt a little. She tried again to lift her foot — but no luck. Flushing with embarrassment, she unzipped a little more. Still stuck. With a deep sigh, she gave one last tug at the zipper and whispered to herself, “Come on, come on,” as though the zipper might somehow cooperate.

Just then, a voice from behind cleared his throat. Before she could react, a large man in a Stetson hat reached out and effortlessly picked her up by the waist, placing her gently on the bus step. Flustered and red-faced, she spun around, glaring at him.

“How dare you touch me?” she snapped, indignation written all over her face. “I don’t even know you!”

The Texan grinned slowly, tipping his hat with a charm only someone from his region could manage. With a drawl as smooth as molasses, he said, “Well, ma’am, I normally would agree… but you unzipped my fly three times, so I figured we were friends.”

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The Chicago Airport Incident: The Man Who Forgot Himself

This next story comes from the bustling terminals of Chicago’s airport. After a Midwest Airlines flight had just been canceled, a long line of frustrated passengers gathered at the lone gate agent’s counter. Amidst the chaos, one particularly impatient man stormed up to the counter, slamming his ticket down and shouting, “I NEED to be on this flight — and it must be FIRST CLASS!”

The gate agent, unfazed and maintaining perfect composure, calmly replied, “Sir, I’ll be happy to assist you. But first, I need to handle the passengers who are ahead of you. Then we’ll see what we can do.”

But the man was growing more agitated by the second. “DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?” he barked, raising his voice for all to hear.

Without missing a beat, the agent picked up the microphone and calmly announced to the entire gate area: “Attention, everyone at Gate 22. We have a passenger here who does NOT know who he is. If anyone can identify him, please come forward!”

The entire crowd erupted in laughter, and the man’s face turned as red as a tomato. With a polite smile, the agent turned back to him and said, “Now, sir… please step back and wait your turn like everyone else.”

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